I am unable to laugh, yet unable to weep. There are no words left to say. This is not life. I am already dead, even though the final stage is yet to take place.
I am lying in an obscure room. The shadows of my loved ones tower around my dying body. What is there to see of them now? I used to hold onto so many memories. Slowly, my loved ones are slipping, have slipped, out of my fingers. Memories are nice, but that is all they are. Slam. Slam. Slam. One by one, I hear the shadows exit out of the door, the door to my life, opening and closing. I am now in complete and utter darkness. Death, O cruel one... I had to be patient for you, but at last I know that the time is now. Am I scared? I should be. But I do not care. Just let me die.
What is this? I feel nothing. There is no darkness ahead of me, only light. Reluctantly, I watch as my body fades away... and I...
...
I open my eyes and stare down at my hands. They no longer have the deadly appearance they had had before. I feel young, I am young, yet I am not alive. A tingling sensation in my back causes me to lift up my head. Spontaneously, I crouch down and embrace myself. Wings of eternal white violently emerge from my back. I look up to the surroundings above me, seeing my entire past life on display. I open my eyes wider than I have ever done before. I soar above and look around me. The process of dying was worth this. I know now where I am. I know why I am here. I finally have purpose. For the first time in months, I bring out a small smile as I reach out to encircle this ether... my new home... my new life.
RIP, Grandma Audrey. ~ January 8th, 2004
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Comments
I can't believe someone hasn't commented yet.
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We are the middle children of history. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our Great War is a spiritual one, our Great Depression is our lives. We've been raised by TV sets, and slowly we're learning the truth, and we're very, very pissed off.
its going in my favorites
to take on a subject such as death in process
your dear grandmother has passed through the barrier of humanity
for a human is nothing but a spirit with limitations
limitations like physical form and all things of the sort
whatever she's going through now, wherever she is,
must be amazing
for a bieng of human form, to find themself completely devoid of such limitations would be beyond anything we could imagine
at least thats my take on it
i pray, or at lest that's the only word i can think for it
i dont know who im praying to, wheter it be a god or some other magnificent force,
or maybe i just do it for myself
but my prayers will surely be with you tonight
good luck, and stay strong
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-that matt person
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Live life with no preconceptions.
I feel the same way. I pray a lot... but I don't know who I'm praying too, exactly. I don't know if there is a god... I feel as if I am not one to say " there is a god." or that "there isn't." But because I made it seem that my grandmother died and went to "heaven..." Is only because I wish there was a heaven. I have a feeling that there's not... but I want there to be. And I hope that's where she is...
Thanks again. Your concern means a lot to me.
--
Live life with no preconceptions.
I feel the same way. I pray a lot... but I don't know who I'm praying too, exactly. I don't know if there is a god... I feel as if I am not one to say " there is a god." or that "there isn't a god." But because I made it seem that my grandmother died and went to "heaven..." Is only because I wish there was a heaven. I have a feeling that there's not... but I want there to be one. And I hope that is where she has ended up...
Thanks again. Your concern means a lot to me.
--
Live life with no preconceptions.
Well, I'm feeling a little spacey from lack of sleep and I'll probably say something even weirder if I go on for much longer so I'll try to talk to you this weekend, Batman dear
--
my mystery's gone away
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